Eric Northman

1x11 To Love is to Bury

[Bill has brought the newly-turned Jessica to Eric's office at Fangtasia]

ERIC: She's your punishment, not mine. What am I supposed to do with her?

JESSICA: Excuse me, I can hear you, Mr. Rude. I wanna go to the bar. I wanna be one of those dancers! Ohhh, I'm hungry!

BILL: She won't listen to me. It would take more time than I have to teach her obedience.

JESSICA: I don't obey anybody. Those days are over.

ERIC: You can't handle one little girl, Bill? Newborns can be like this. Man up, my friend. She's not even one night old.

BILL: That is not the issue.

ERIC: You want to stay with your maker, don't you?

JESSICA: No, he's a dick. Dick, dick, dick. [Eric laughs] You're cute. Can I sit in your lap?

ERIC: No.

JESSICA: Why? Nobody lets me have any fun! Fuckers!

ERIC: Sit down and shut up. [Jessica starts to sit] Close the door. [she obeys] See? You have to be tough with them, or they'll walk all over you.

BILL: I am well aware of that, but you can see how she is, and there are urgent matters to which I must attend!

ERIC: Sookie Stackhouse? Haven't you done enough for her?

BILL: If any harm woulda come to her because of my absence, you would be--

ERIC: [leans in] What?

BILL: [backs away] Without her helpful skills.

JESSICA: [throws herself at the door] Let me out! I wanna do something bad!

BILL: I would be in your debt. I would return the favor.

ERIC: Oh, yes, you will. You most definitely will. Jessica.

JESSICA: You don't have to yell at me.

ERIC: How would you like to learn how a real vampire feeds?

JESSICA: Oh, yes, sir. Please, sir.

ERIC: [to Bill] See? It's really quite easy.