Eric Northman
2x11 Frenzy
[Sam is at Fangtasia with Arlene's kids, trying to get Eric's help]
ERIC: Why should I help you... shifter?
SAM: Because I need your help. We need it. And hopefully, someday, I might be able to give you something you need.
ERIC: Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse?
SAM: No.
ERIC: Well, that's a shame. That would be a tribute I would not soon forget.
SAM: I'm not here to give you tribute, Eric.
ERIC: No, you're here to request my help, based on a hypothetical future in which you return the favor. But you are known to not be friendly toward those like me. Why should I trust you?
SAM: Because until somebody starts trusting somebody, we're all single targets, just ripe for the picking.
ERIC: I have no knowledge of this maenad creature, although I suspect it's the bull-headed beast that passed through here recently. Right, Pam?
PAM: That thing owes me a pair of shoes.
SAM: So can you help us or not?
ERIC: I do know someone who might be able to offer something useful. Might be able to.
CODY: Can we see your fangs?
[Eric shows his fangs to the kids, and Lisa cringes]
ERIC: Don't you like vampires, little girl?
SAM: Eric!
LISA: Our step-daddy hated vampires, but we don't.
[Eric retracts his fangs]
CODY: He went on a vacation with Jesus.
PAM: You make me so happy I never had any of you.
ERIC: Oh, come on, Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.
PAM: (I hate them. They're so stupid.)
ERIC: (But delicious.)
SAM: So can you call this other person who might be able to--
ERIC: Better yet, I'll go see her. But I must leave right away.
SAM: No problem.
ERIC: I'll walk you out. [follows them out]
PAM: (Please get those horrible things out of here. I'll be smelling them for a week.)
[Eric laughs]
[in the parking lot]
SAM: You have my cell phone number.
ERIC: I'll let you know if I learn anything of use to you. [leans over to the kids] Good night, tiny humans. [winks and flies straight up into the air]
CODY: Whoa! He can fly!
BILL: What are you doing here?
ERIC: Hoping the queen knows how to kick a maenad's ass.
BILL: Now why would you wanna do that? So that you look like a hero to Sookie?
ERIC: [fixing his windblown hair] Oh, Billy. This paranoia, it's really quite unbecoming. Has she... mentioned me?
BILL: No. That was really quite desperate of you, tricking her into drinking your blood so that she became attracted to you?
ERIC: Unlike you, who fed her your own blood the very night you met.
BILL: How do you know that?
ERIC: So you're not denying it.
BILL: I was saving her life.
ERIC: Isn't that convenient?
BILL: You stay away from Sookie, Eric, or I will tell the queen that you're forcing humans to sell vampire blood for you.
ERIC: You wouldn't.
BILL: I won't... as long as you never come close to Sookie ever again.
ERIC: I don't like threats, Bill.
BILL: Neither do I.
[Bill walks away, and Eric goes inside]